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By Mary Ann Dudko, Margie Larsen, Bill Langley

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Breaking the News Tell Your Children of the Death Promptly and Simply When possible, begin by talking about things the children have experienced or noticed already: "You know, don't you, that Mommy Page 31 has been very sick lately. " Comfort by Touching Communicate by your touch that the children are not alone in this, that you are there. Hold your children close to you, stroke their hands soothingly, and offer your comforting hug. Immediately Offer Reassurance Tell your children that although you are sad and upset, you are strong and will be able to take care of them.

The Secret Everyone Knows. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1989. DeClements, Barthe. No Place for Me. New York: Viking Kestrel, 1987. Page 28 Death of a Loved One The diagnosis hit like a bolt of lightningadvanced ovarian cancer. Adria was only thirty-eight years old, and she had three young children. "Dear God," she cried from her hospital bed, "I want to watch my children grow. I want to comfort them when they're hurt. " But she knew her God had other plans. After the initial shock, tears, and cries of disbelief, Adria spent much of her time preparing for her death.

If the alcoholic parent answers the phone it's usually easy to tell if he or she has been drinking, and if the nonalcoholic parent answers, he or she can okay or nix the plan. Again, emphasize to your children, "Your parent's addiction to alcohol is not your fault. " Confusion and Insecurity A regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, often does not exist in the home of an alcoholic. Moreover, regardless of the child's behavior, the alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry.

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Barney, BJ and Scooter by Mary Ann Dudko, Margie Larsen, Bill Langley

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